The Recluse Page 3

  I had to be, or I’d unravel in the presence of sin, and Fin was full-on sin.

  I could already feel myself doing that now, the tendrils of want and desire mixing with each other to create this combustible flame inside me.

  He discussed finances, money being deposited into my account biweekly, and how I’d have a “company car,” and a weekly household allowance to purchase groceries and other supplies I needed. He wasn’t picky about meals either, but I made note of what he liked and didn’t like and knew I’d have things planned out a week in advance.

  I also reminded myself to get that lemon raspberry cake a couple times a week. I'd seen how much he enjoyed it.

  A part of me wanted to make life easier for myself here by being organized, but I also wanted to show him that I could handle this, that he wouldn’t regret hiring me. Although I had no experience in any of this, I would take my job seriously and be proud of it.

  Once we were finished talking, he asked if I wanted another glass of wine. It was tempting, but I knew if I had any more, I’d wake up with a headache. So I declined, excused myself for the night, and I made my way back toward my room.

  I found myself taking a detour though. I found the study, or maybe it was his office. I saw the library, the shelving from ceiling to floor. The walls seemed to be built specifically to hold books. If I’d been an avid reader, I would’ve been in heaven at that moment, but even I could appreciate the beauty of all the leather bound titles.

  I made my way back upstairs to go to my room for the night, since I wanted to be up relatively early. I had a lot to do tomorrow, not because there were tasks given to me right off the bat, but because I wanted to be fully prepared for my new position.

  When I reached the top of the stairs, I made my way toward my room. Most of the doors on either side of me were closed, but when I neared the one that was directly beside mine, I couldn’t help but slow when I saw it was partially opened.

  The scent coming out of it was purely male and all Fin. I knew without having to ask that this was his room. Knowing he’d sleep right beside my room had this weird feeling settling in my belly.

  The door was open enough that I could see the massive bed across the room, almost identical to mine, but twice the size, and that was saying something, since mine wasn’t anything to scoff about. Then again, a man of Fin’s size and stature would need a monstrous bed.

  The dirty thoughts that slammed into my head had my cheeks instantly feeling hot. They were images of me naked, of him above me, the sheets a tangled mess around us, sweat pouring off our bodies because we’d been going at it all night like animals.

  Oh my God. Get yourself under control.

  I forced myself to move away and head to my room. Once inside, I shut the door and leaned against it. And then I just inhaled and exhaled until I felt my pulse start to steady, until I felt like I was steady enough on my own two feet.

  I had no idea how I was going to survive being Finland Hawthorne’s employee, because after only being here for this short time, I already felt like a big fucking mess where he was concerned.

  5

  Fin

  I’d jerked off twice since I said goodnight to Kitty, and it hadn’t helped. In fact, it had made my arousal even stronger, more potent.

  I’d never felt anything like this before. It was like this fire burning me alive, and the accelerant was Kitty.

  I should’ve probably felt like a dirty bastard thinking these lower, obscene thoughts concerning her. But I didn’t. And I refused to stop thinking about her.

  This was her first day, she hadn’t even been here twenty-four hours, but I’d already deemed her as mine.

  I’d claim her, show her that no one else would have her but me. It was an insane thought, a crazy feeling to have, but it was as real as the air I was drawing into my lungs. It was as solid as the heart beating in my chest.

  I couldn’t let her go. I wouldn’t. That wasn’t even plausible to me.

  But I was a patient man. I could wait until she was ready, until she felt what I felt, until she needed me with such a burning intensity it consumed her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.

  I’d watch her, touch myself as I thought about her, and all the while my feelings, my need and obsession for her, would grow.

  When I wanted something, I did whatever it took to make it mine.

  And I’d never wanted anything more than Kitty.

  6

  Kitty

  I’d been lying in bed for the last twenty minutes, unable to sleep, because my mind and body were running feral.

  I breathed out in annoyance with myself and shifted onto my back, staring above. The lights from the patio came through the partially opened curtains and washed across the ceiling. I didn’t know what it was about Fin, but he set me on edge. But he also started this fire in me. He had me wanting more… more than I ever thought even possible.

  But I wasn’t stupid. I knew realistically we’d never be together. He was my boss and was so socially withdrawn that he probably didn’t want a relationship at all. Not friendly, and certainly not romantic.

  So the fantasies playing in my head would have to do, but if they controlled me this much, how could I even concentrate to do my job, to think rationally, act normally in his presence as time passed?

  I pushed the covers off me and sat up, swinging my body to the left so my legs were hanging off the edge of the mattress. The frame was so high off the ground that my feet didn’t even touch the wood floor.

  I slid off the bed, the soles of my feet coming in contact with the coldness, and padded over to the window, pulling the curtain aside and looking out. This room had a small balcony that overlooked the backyard, if it even could be called the latter. The natural wilderness surrounded the home, and the only thing I could see were thick trees as far as the eye could see. Below, there was a hot tub that sat on the massive deck that came off the living room patio doors. I’d seen it briefly when I wandered around, finding the dining room.

  I rose on my toes slightly to look over the banister, my vantage point not giving me much of a good view, but I could see the lid was open on the hot tub, and the water was bubbling from the jets.

  I was about to turn around and head back to bed, try to get some sleep, since I had to wake up so early to start the day, but a big shadow heading toward the hot tub had me stilling. And then I saw him, Fin wearing a thick white robe, standing on the other side of the spa, looking at the water. It was late, and I was surprised to see him still up, although maybe he couldn’t sleep, the same as me.

  My heart instantly started racing just at the mere sight of him, but then he went for the tie at the side of the robe, undid it, and pushed the material off his shoulders.

  I’d known he was heavily muscular just by the way he filled out his clothes. I could see the definition under the material. But I wasn’t prepared to see all that flash in the… well, flesh.

  And he definitely had a lot of it: tan, hard, and undeniably masculine flesh.

  And his nakedness. Good God, it was like he’d been created with the sole purpose to please a woman, like whoever created him wanted Fin to make a woman scream and have her walking bowlegged the next day.

  My gaze immediately went to the area between his thighs, as if there were a magnet leading me there. I actually felt my eyes widen as I stared at what he sported. He wasn’t even hard, yet his damn dick was so big that the very first thought I had in my head was that his cock couldn’t possibly fit inside any woman comfortably.

  My tongue felt too big for the inside of my mouth, and my heart was beating so fast it was painful. I actually placed a hand on my chest, as if that could still the rapid beat, as if that could somehow calm it.

  Not only was I having a hard-enough time gathering my composure when Fin was fully fucking clothed, but now that I’d seen him naked… yeah, good luck with reminding myself that he was my new boss.

  I should’ve turned away, but for long momen
ts, I stayed there, watching as he slipped into the hot tub, taking note of the way his muscles bunched and moved like a stealthy animal. He leaned back against the side, his arms stretched out on either side and hanging over the edge.

  I couldn’t see his face any longer, but I didn’t need to. His image, the very visage of him, would be ingrained in my head for the rest of my life.

  I forced myself to move away then, went back to bed, slipped under the covers, and knew that come morning I would be tired as hell. Sleep didn’t even seem plausible right now.

  And as I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, my hand slid along my belly, between my thighs, and under the edge of my panties.

  It was after I touched myself, made myself come so hard I saw stars, that I finally fell asleep.

  And I knew I’d dream about Fin. I anticipated it.

  7

  Fin

  I knew she’d been watching me last night when I’d gotten into the hot tub naked. I’d felt her eyes on me, as if she were touching my body, stroking me. Thankfully, I’d been in the water just as I started getting hard. That wasn’t something I wanted her to see... not yet anyway.

  I’d gotten up before the sun had risen this morning, knowing I needed to get some work done before Kitty consumed my thoughts, and my focus the rest of the day was shot.

  I’d heard her rise about six in the morning, and because I couldn’t control myself where she was concerned, I turned on all the cameras in the house just so I could see her while I worked.

  Security was important to me, not just because of personal preference, but because of who I was. Having power meant you had enemies, people who wanted to take what was yours. All the security cameras might be overkill, but I was a firm believer in being safe rather than being sorry. And right now, I’d never been happier to have them in the house than I was now.

  Aside from the bathrooms and the bedrooms, there were cameras in every other room and placed around the exterior of the property. And right now, I watched her sit at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in front of her, and a notebook beside that.

  She had one leg bent up, the foot resting on the bottom of the chair. The sun came through the window and had this glow all around her.

  She looked beautiful.

  Kitty kept running her fingers around her knee as she wrote in the book. I zoomed in on the image of her and watched as she bit her bottom lip, tugging at that pink flesh, making it redder, slightly swollen from the subtle abuse.

  Her long dark hair was pulled up into a ponytail, little wisps having fallen out around the crown, teasing her temples. I wanted to run my fingers around those tendrils, see if they were as soft as they looked.

  I felt my hands curl against the edge of the table, and it was when I heard my nails digging into the wood that I loosened my grip. This woman had so much power over me that I didn’t even recognize myself.

  Here I was watching someone without their knowledge, essentially stalking them, was obsessed with them... already fucking claiming them, and they didn’t even know it.

  Who was this man I’d become?

  I cleared my throat and turned away from the cameras, running a hand over my jaw, feeling the scruff underneath. I hadn’t even bothered shaving this morning. She consumed my thoughts to the point that I couldn’t even focus on anything else.

  What I did know for certain was that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate until I had her as mine. But even then, I knew once I tasted her, knew how she felt, how wet she’d become for me, I’d be so addicted nothing else would matter but her.

  Nothing would ever come close to Kitty.

  Hell, that’s how it was going now, and I hadn’t even claimed her fully.

  I stood and left my study, heading into the kitchen to pour myself a big cup of coffee. I had Tosco deliver pastries first thing this morning, another thing I indulged in quite frequently.

  But when you lived alone, picking up certain habits that comforted and placated you seemed to be the norm in my case.

  I stepped into the kitchen and saw the pastry box on the counter. I opened it up and saw she hadn’t taken one, but then again, I’d only seen that cup of coffee in front of her when I watched her.

  She needed to eat. I want to feed her. That thought slammed into my head so strongly I knew I would do just that once she was mine.

  I put a danish on a small plate, grabbed one for me, and balanced it in my mouth as I took the coffee mug. I made my way back to where Kitty was and set the plate in front of her. She’d been so immersed in writing in her notebook that she didn’t even realize I was there until I was right beside her.

  “Oh. Good morning,” she said and smiled, and it lit up the entire fucking room.

  It fucking lit me up.

  She glanced at the plate. “Thank you.” The way she said it had this little mewling tone laced in it, and I clenched my jaw to hold in my pleasured groan.

  I took the seat across from her and brought my mug to my lips, taking a long drink. I took note of her coffee. It was milky, maybe more cream than actual coffee. I bet it was sweet too. I made a mental note for future reference so I could make it for her in the mornings.

  I noticed the morning paper sitting on the table and reached for it, unfolding it and turning to the business section. I scanned the pages, but I kept finding myself looking up at her.

  She sat the same way, her foot braced on the edge of the chair as she wrote in her notebook. She was picking at the danish, breaking off little pieces and bringing it to her mouth, and then licking off the glaze that was on the tips of those digits.

  I felt that powerful yet familiar arousal start at the base of my spine as I watched her little pink tongue move out and drag across her skin. It was so innocent, yet so extremely sexual in the same breath.

  My traitorous cock started to harden, and I cleared my throat a little too gruffly. She looked up at me, and I quickly looked down at the paper, feigning interest in the stock market. After a few moments of silence, both of us enjoying our coffee, she pushed her notebook toward me, and I glanced up at her.

  “I’ve made out a menu for the week. If you want to look over it and let me know if there’s anything you dislike or would like me to change, I can make note for future meals and adjust this one.”

  I looked down at what she’d written. She was meticulous, organized as she broke down lunch and dinner, even breakfast, although I told her I rarely ate breakfast during the week because I was up so early. But to be honest, I would’ve eaten anything she put in front of me any time of the day. As long as she was the one who prepared it, I would’ve gotten satisfaction from anything.

  “It all looks wonderful,” I said and meant it. She beamed, was actually happy by my response, which in turn pleased me to no end.

  She took back the notebook and gave me a short nod before rising. “Great. I made the menu this week with the ingredients we have here at the house. I’ll probably have to make a grocery run next week, if that’s okay?”

  “Anything you want or need, it’s yours.” And I meant that in more ways than one.

  She looked away quickly, and I didn’t miss how her cheeks started to turn pink. Had I embarrassed her? Maybe her thoughts were just as dirty as mine.

  I wanted to place my hand on her face and see if her skin was warm from the blush. When she cleared her throat and glanced back at me, I was snapped out of my fantasies. She let me know where she’d be if I needed anything then made her way out.

  I sat there and just watched her walk away, my focus on her ass, my control barely hanging on. I had no fucking clue how I’d go slow with her, how I’d restrain myself from clearing the table every morning and fucking her on it.

  Hell, I could fuck her three times a day and it still wouldn’t be enough.

  She woke up this beast in me, and for the first time in my life, I was actually worried that I’d have no self-control.

  8

  Kitty

  A week later


  I didn’t know how to accurately describe my work environment with Fin, and I didn’t know if it was just because of how I felt for him, this burning desire I had, but every time he was near—which, if I were being honest, was constant—I felt this electrifying intensity.

  And he did seem to always be around.

  Watching me, tracking me with his eyes, his focus on me so intense I felt as if he reached out and smoothed his fingers along my cheek.

  Maybe in any other circumstance I would’ve felt uncomfortable, that it would’ve been inappropriate. But because of what I felt for Fin, how I liked his eyes on me, like this silent claim I sensed every time he was near, I let myself indulge in these emotions.

  I pushed all those thoughts out of my head and finished buying the supplies for dinner tonight. This was the first time I’d ventured out of the house and off the property. I’d taken one of his cars—the big-ass SUV he insisted I use—and explored the town.

  It was quaint, but the businesses were well-known, not just with the residents but in the state as well. I’d researched them before moving here. For such a small town, it held many successful companies, places I knew would have boomed and flourished in the city.

  But the company that was the most successful was definitely Hawthorne Oil. The company covered the tri-state area, and probably even farther than that. Once all the technological lingo started popping up as I researched, it all became lost on me.

  I pushed my cart up to one of the empty registers and started unloading the items on the belt, mentally checking off everything I had on my grocery list to make sure I got everything. I was going to make lasagna from scratch, the one thing my mom had shown me how to cook on many occasions. It was probably the only thing that I didn’t burn half the time. Strangely enough, I hadn’t been ruining the meals here. Maybe it was because I tried to please him, that I wanted to see that pleasure on his face as he ate the food I prepared just for him.