Give it Up: The Devil’s Boys MC, 1

  Give it Up

  The Devil’s Boys MC, 1

  Jenika Snow

  Contents

  Blurb

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  A broken past doesn’t stop him from wanting a future with her.

  Loch

  I’d never wanted anything for myself until Nina stepped into my life. We were just two lives that came from ruined childhoods, growing up together, relying on each other. And my sole mission was to protect her at all costs.

  I was happy and content making her my priority.

  Until I wasn’t because I wanted her as mine.

  We were connected in all senses of the word. But I wasn’t a good man. I was a member of the Devil’s Boys MC, brothers in arms who would do anything to get by in life.

  And Nina was the center of it all, an integral part of all of our lives.

  But it was that thread that drew us together that kept me away.

  I was afraid of losing the one thing that mattered most to me, of crossing an invisible line from being friends to lovers.

  But without risk there wasn’t reward, and Nina would be the greatest reward I’d ever gotten.

  Warning: It might be short, but it gets right to the point! Dirty and sweet, it gives you exactly what you need: filth with that HEA!

  Chapter One

  Nina

  The Devil’s Boys MC.

  The club name was fitting given the fact that the men I currently stared at were the epitome of what I envisioned a bad boy to be. They didn’t care about the law, didn’t give two shits about rules. They did what they wanted, when they wanted, and anyone who got in their way experienced their wrath.

  Merc, Loch, Perch, Chopper, Hemp, and Zane.

  The founding club members.

  The men I’d grown up with while we bounced from foster home to foster home. They were the boys I’d gone to school with, bailed out of jail more times than I wanted to admit. They were like family to me, and I loved each and every one of them despite the fact society saw them as criminals and violent, no-good men.

  But there was one man in particular, one member whom I’d loved since I was a girl…

  Lochlyn Alex Badger.

  At twenty-four years old, he was the only man I’d seen myself with, the only person I’d ever loved. And I suspected he felt the same way for me.

  I saw the way he looked at me, the possessiveness, and his gaze as he would track my every movement. But he never said anything about it, never made a move. He kept his distance, protected me like the other members did.

  Maybe he didn’t want to cross lines? Maybe he didn’t want things to get ruined if we finally gave in to our carnal need. But I was tired of waiting, exhausted from pretending like I could live my life without Loch in it the way I saw us.

  I stared at the guys through the large window, the daily club meeting in progress, their expressions intense. Although I was close to each of them, knew that they would protect me with their lives, even kill for me, I wasn’t privy to what went behind those massive double doors.

  That was for members only, something I never would be, something I didn’t want to be.

  I turned around, my back to the guys as I started logging in the liquor shipment. I could hear a few of the club girls talking in the backroom. Just thinking about the girls who hung around the clubhouse, fucked the members because they hoped to one day be an old lady, made me sick. It wasn’t just because I thought my guys deserved better, but also because these women obviously felt like they had to do this.

  Or maybe it was just because they wanted to.

  Maybe they liked sex just as much as the members did and this was an outlet, letting off steam and enjoying life. Seeing as I was an unexperienced virgin, I knew nothing about any of this.

  I focused on jotting down each bottle of whiskey, tequila, and vodka. The guys liked to drink, that was for sure.

  Once I had it all documented, I started setting them up behind the bar, right in front of the large mirror. I looked up at my reflection, staring at the meeting room again.

  Church.

  That’s what they called it when they got together and talked club business. Even after all these years I still wouldn’t fully understand or grasp everything that made up the MC. But I was a ride or die kind of girl, and I wasn’t going anywhere.

  So I worked for them, managing shipping and receiving, accounts, all the financials that had to do with their legit side business, which funny enough was home improvements. Not only were these bad ass bakers doing illegal shit to make the majority of their income, in order to look like law-abiding citizens, they were handymen.

  That had me smiling. In the reflection of the glass, I saw two of the club girls walking out from the back.

  Megan and Rita.

  Although I was pretty sure they went by something sleazier, or maybe a little sexier when hanging out at the club. But to be honest, I didn’t remember half their names, let alone their faces.

  The guys brought in random women constantly, the girls coming and going, just quick fucks, or ones who hung around because one of the members liked them enough to make them a temporary fixture at the clubhouse.

  I looked at Loch then, the only man who never brought home a girl, the only member I’d never seen actually participate in the debauchery that was the MC lifestyle. He was sitting back in the leather chair, his short dark hair slightly messy as if he’d been running his fingers through it. As the vice president of the MC, he held a lot of weight where decision-making was concerned.

  The president, Merc, had grown up in the same foster home as Loch. It’s where they met, when they became close. Although not blood related, they were like brothers.

  All the members were.

  Broken homes, single parent families, shitty upbringings.

  That was all of our lives.

  And maybe me holding back, keeping my feelings in check was for the best. Maybe not telling Loch that I loved him was where we were supposed to be in this life. Because as I looked at him, the rawest, roughest, most beautiful man I’d ever seen, one who was more savage than tamed, I knew that being honest would change everything.

  And as I thought that, he turned his focus on me, his gaze boring into mine. I felt my heart jackknife in my chest. His expression was as stoic as ever, yet beneath that tough exterior I could see something carnal, something deep.

  It was the same look he always gave me. It was the look that told me I was his.

  Chapter Two

  Loch

  I shouldn’t be looking at her but I couldn’t help it. Since the moment I saw Nina walk through the front door of my foster home, her blond pigtails ratty-looking, her face smeared with dirt, and her clothes stained and torn, I was instantly, irrevocably drawn to her.

  At first, I was just looking out for her, a protector when she’d get picked on, teased. I was four years older than her and could do that, could make sure no one messed with her. I’d never been a good guy, not as a child, a teenager, and sure as hell not as an adolescent. But there had always been something about Nina, something that pulled me in, drew me like a moth to a flame.

  She made me want to be a good person, to try and do right by the world.

  But shit, look at me now, a vice president to an outlaw biker gang.

  “Fuck, you paying attention?”

  I looked at Merc, my president, my brother in all senses of the word. It didn’t matter if we were
n’t related by blood. Merc and I had been through the wringer and came out standing. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for that man, hell, there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for any of these men that sat around the table.

  Family, through and through, no matter what.

  “You have my full attention,” I said and put my focus on the club. I couldn’t help thinking about Nina, though. She was always on my mind, yet I stayed back, kept things platonic. Although I sure as fuck knew she could see the way I looked at her, watched her every move. It wasn’t like I hid that shit.

  I always had to make sure she was okay, that nothing bad ever happened to her. That’s why I sure as hell liked having her here at the club, always around, always where I could watch over her.

  It was something I couldn’t help. It was ingrained in me.

  “We have to hit up Pete’s Dive Bar Saturday night to discuss a gun drop with the Killerz. Loch, I want you to go with Perch, Chopper, and me to square away the details.”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely.” I leaned back in the chair even more, the leather creaking from my massive weight. I was a big fucker, muscular, working out in the basement of the clubhouse six days a week just to get rid of the extra energy I had.

  And the pent-up arousal I have for Nina.

  It was either work out, start a fight, or take Nina to my room and fuck her until she said she was mine. And as much as the latter was what I really wanted to do, not crossing that line was probably for the best.

  Nina was too good for me. She was smart, gorgeous, and although she stuck by the club through thick and thin, getting involved with her would tarnish the fuck out of what we had. At least that’s what I told myself, yet I mean-mugged any motherfucker who looked at her, slapped around any prospect who talked to her.

  There wasn’t any piece of shit asshole who came within arm’s length of her, not when I was close, not if they knew anything about me and the lengths I’d go to protect her. They knew me well enough to know she was not to be messed with.

  And how fucked was that when I wasn’t making a move on her? I was keeping guys away like she was already claimed as mine.

  And I’d keep doing that until I manned the fuck up and told her she’d always been mine.

  “When we get there, I want Perch and Chopper to take position at the front and the back of the bar. Although this should be a smooth meeting, I’m not taking any chances with this fucking group. They aren’t the smartest, and I’m worried about them inadvertently fucking shit up.”

  “And that’s why we shouldn’t be dealing with them. Dumb fucks always screw up.”

  There was a round of affirmative grunts from the group.

  “Listen, we need the money, brothers. The legitimate business is nearly in the red, and if we can’t keep that afloat then we got nothing to fall back on. We need the money these peons got.” Merc looked each of us in the eyes. “We all voted on this shit so no going back now.”

  Another affirmative sound from the club.

  “I won’t lie and say the club shouldn’t even be doing business with them given their track record of reckless behavior, but we need these guns unloaded and fast, and they’re the ones to offer the most.” Merc leaned back in his chair at the head of the table.

  Killerz club was a small operation compared to our MC. Because they lacked skill, unity. They didn’t know what the fuck they were doing, and their run-ins with the law were thicker than they should be. They didn’t know how to stay under the radar, and that’s why I didn’t want to fuck with them.

  But I trusted my president.

  Devil’s Boys MC weren’t saints by any means, and did a hell of a lot of illegal shit, but we knew what the hell we were doing. It was our life, how we survived. Fucking up was not an option. And because of that, our club stayed on top of the fucking food chain.

  “We trust you, Prez,” I said and focused on Merc as he continued giving details and the run-down of the scenario about the meeting. We always took the initial meeting as heavy as if this were an actual drop-off. But as I listened to my prez, I couldn’t help but let my gaze travel back to where Nina stood. She was by the bar, her little leather notebook that she always carried held tightly in her hand.

  I knew what was in that notepad, had walked up to her and looked over her shoulder when she’d been writing in it. Maybe not the most honorable thing to do, but I’d been curious about her, about everything that made her up.

  And filled between those pages was poems, dark and twisted ones, ones about the broken lives we both led. She wrote about being moved around, never being wanted, grasping onto any affection that was available. Although I had hardened, changed my resolve once I got with the MC, I knew she was still stuck back there, missing things she’d never have.

  Or maybe it was just a part of her that wanted all of that? Maybe that part of her called out to me in the most basic, primal way?

  I loved her, had for years, and knowing that she felt that way, that she wrote down her emotions, her feelings, as if she painted them in vibrant colors, had me wanting to pull her in close and tell her everything would be okay.

  Even if everything wouldn’t be. Life was cruel, the world fucked-up. Within these club walls, surrounded by these brothers who wore the same patches I did, she would always be protected, always have a home and a family. But maybe that wasn’t enough. Maybe she yearned for more. Maybe I should tell her I loved her so she knew she wasn’t truly alone?

  I stared at Nina, couldn’t have diverted my gaze from her if my life depended on it. She was bent over as she scribbled in her notebook, her jeans molded perfectly to her apple-shaped ass.

  I felt my cock hardening, digging in to the zipper of my jeans, demanding to be free. There were only so many times I could jerk off thinking about her before I was desperate for the real deal.

  “Dude,” Perch said and I glanced over at him, narrowing my eyes at his tone. “If you eye-fuck her any harder it’s going to be like I’m watching full-on porn.”

  The guys started chuckling around the table and I growled out low before giving them the bird.

  “Fuck you. Fuck all of you.” My tone was clipped, my voice pitched low. How I felt for Nina was no secret to the guys. Although I’d never actually admitted it, I hadn’t denied it either. I also didn’t hide how I watched her possessively, how I made no secret that any guy who sniffed around her was going to get their ass kicked. So that’s why I knew for a fact she knew I wanted her. Because I sure as fuck didn’t keep it on the down low.

  But like a pussy I stayed back, watching, lurking.

  The meeting adjourned and I headed out of the room, making my way right to where Nina stood. I could hear the slow, steady bump of music, realized she had earbuds in as she doodled on one of the pages. She worked damn hard for the club, not just dealing with inventory, but working on the legit business side of it all, accounting, all of that shit. She was the glue that held everything together, made sure we stayed off the cops’ and the IRS’ radar.

  Without her the world would be one hell of a cluster fuck.

  I leaned against the bar and crossed my arms over my chest, watching her. She had yet to realize I was right beside her, and soft sound of her humming had my stomach tightening and my heart beating a little faster. She had a gorgeous voice, soft and feminine, and had every male part of me coming alive.

  Her dark hair was in loose curls, brushing the small of her back. I wanted to reach out and touch those strands, wrap them around my hand and gently tilt her head back to claim her mouth with mine. I wanted to be gentle with her, something that I’d never seen myself doing in life, something that I only wanted to share with her.

  I wanted to tell her that when I looked at her I didn’t see darkness, that she was the light that could push my monsters back. I wanted to say all of that, but I said nothing.

  And then she lifted her head, the fall of her hair blocking half of her face. Her lips were full and pink, kissable. And as she stared into my ey
es, our gazes holding, the blue of her irises so bright it almost looked unnatural, I felt my heart stop.

  This woman made me want to be a better man, simply because that’s what she deserved.

  But I knew I could never give her that. This was who I was, ingrained deep within me, my very soul branded. I’d never be a knight in shining armor. I’d be the motherfucker who rode in with a knife, ready to slit throats and leave bodies on the ground.

  And as much as I knew she deserved flowers and sweetness, this was her life as well.

  We were one and the same, she and I, and that’s how I knew she’d always be mine.

  Chapter Three

  Loch

  Saturday night

  I was antsy as fuck even though this was just a first meeting to talk about the logistics and settle on a firm delivery payment. But hell, I was always worked up for this shit. Curling my hands around the steering wheel and then relaxing them, I stared at the front of the dive bar.

  “Chill,” Merc said from the passenger seat, and I glanced over at him, grunting in annoyance. “We shouldn’t have done the deal with these lowlifes. They give outlaws a bad name.”

  Merc snorted. “Outlaws my ass. They’re little boys trying to play in the big kids’ playground.” He stared out the front window. “But we need to get rid of these guns and invest the money back into the business to clean the cash. They were the first ones to offer up and have the money in hand. I’m not about to pass up that.”

  The silence stretched between us for long moments, the air thick, the adrenaline moving through my veins.